


Payback

by orphan_account



Category: Skins
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-01
Updated: 2011-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-15 07:01:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Payback

Michelle misses Tony. Tony can be sweet and recite poetry at her and make her feel like she's better than anyone else. But she also realizes now she isn't better. Not in Tony's eyes, and that is what counts when he's her boyfriend. She can take him back as a friend, and that's it. She wants to be free of him, finally. Of his demanding eyes and the way he makes her feel good. Of the way he insults her, and it hurts her so, so much that she can't breathe sometimes.

She was stupid, she knows. Not to realize he'd betrayed her like that, with practically everyone. And Maxxie. Of all people. Sweet, shy, bubbly Maxxie, who would never hurt anyone if he could help it. Anwar tells her later that Max never would have done anything like that if it hadn't been for their friendship going to pieces and Tony offering Max head more than once. Tony... offering! Tony, playing around, fooling around with boys and girls and yes. She can't push this one on either Maxxie or herself, because how?

Maxxie sits alone now, in between classes, during breaks. She doesn't know how that happened, but it's probably her fault, because Jal's her friend, and so is Sid, and Cassie's in the clinic and Chris... is probably with Angie, somewhere they can screw each other's brains out. So who does that leave for Maxxie?

The first time, she goes over just because he looks so sad, so, so sad, with his drawing board in his hands and the pencil behind his ear, just staring off into space, his beautiful lips drawn into a thin line of grief.

The second time, she goes over because she needs to talk to him. Because she needs closure, and she needs him to make her feel better, and she needs to make him feel better.

"Hi," she says, and she is sorry. She really is sorry for making him feel horrible only because she wanted someone to feel as horrible as she did. Tony never would. Because Tony feels no remorse, no guilt. Because Tony has no conscience.

"Michelle." Maxxie glances at her, so tortured and then away again, like he can't hold her gaze for a second longer or he'll burn up inside, as a punishment.

"Can I sit down?"

"Oh. Oh, yeah. I don't. Michelle, I'm -"

"It's okay."

He's got a smoking joint between his fingers like back then, when Tony was still all over him, leaning into him, caressing his cheek. That's over now, because Tony got what he wanted, he got a jealous reaction from her, and that was what he was playing at, obviously. It's burning down, but he doesn't make any move to smoke it. He just sits there, like he's remembering.

"I mean it, Max. I'm sorry, too, for accusing you. For calling you a slut." She flushes. "It's not you. It... I don't know anything about your sex life, it was a mean thing to say. I was projecting what I felt for Tony. I'm sorry about that."

Maxxie shrugs. "I still let him do me. Doesn't change anything, that still makes me a slut."

"He's Tony."

Maxxie gives a chuckle. "He's nothing. He's the kind of person I swore myself I'd never let close, because he's capable of breaking a person, and he's not afraid to do it. Repeatedly."

Michelle bites her lip. She knows what he's talking about. Knows it all too well. "I'm never going to be with him again. Ever."

He nods. "Good for you."

"Promise me something?"

"Michelle -"

"Promise me that you'll punch me, that you'll write LOSER in big letters on my chest, that you'll make me take a naked run through school, if I'm ever that stupid again and even come close to considering taking him back."

Maxxie gives her a small smile, a secret one, and it makes her heart flutter, because it's honest. Honest, like Tony's smiles never are.

"I can promise you that, I guess."

"Thank you. I know I can trust you to follow up on that. Though I really hope you won't ever have to."

"I hope so, too."

She stays sitting next to him, puts her arms around her knees and lays her head on top. "You said he was no good," she then grins. “I heard you that night.”

Maxxie snorts. "I wouldn't know, not like I have a lot to compare to. It didn't feel right, that's all there was."

Michelle looks at him then, catches his gaze and holds it, makes him look back. He has to be able to look at her again. It seems so important in that moment.

She asks, "You want him again, don't you?"

And that's what made her so angry, not that he'd given in, because who wouldn't? Tony is... he is like new Manolo Blahniks; you have to have him, he makes you believe you can't possibly live without him. But once you look closer you realize that you can do so much better for less the price.

No, what had made her angry was that Maxxie hadn't seemed to be able to pull away; that time when his face was close to Tony's and Tony's body was behind him, pressing them close together while sharing a joint, she’d realized that he wanted it again. That they both did.

“Do you want me to lie?” Maxxie says, and his grin is bitter. Like he doesn’t want to believe it himself.

“No. I know the answer anyway. I want you to say it.”

“I still want him. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted another boy so badly in my life.” He brings the joint to his lips then, inhales once, closes his eyes. “But like you said. It would be completely stupid to even think about it. He’s not a good person. He’ll turn around and use it against me.” He offers her the joint and she declines. He shrugs. “But anyway, it’s just desire. Controlling it is what makes us human.”

“Tony controls –“

“Tony controls people. If there’s one thing Tony can’t control, it’s his own desires.” Maxxie takes another breath, then puts the joint out and smiles at her. “Maybe, one day, I’ll fuck him. For the fun of it. When I don’t feel like I need to anymore.”

Michelle rolls her eyes, but she has to laugh. Because Tony, being played, instead of playing others… it’s… it feels good.

Maxxie stands up, helps her to her feet and pulls her close, kisses her on her lips. It surprises her, makes her gasp and then his lips are gone again, just a peck later. “You should try it some time,” he says then, and the gong announces the start of the next lesson. Michelle can feel eyes on her back, knows people are watching her. He is watching them, has seen them kiss, and there is nothing he can do about it.

Maybe she will. Maybe, when she’s gotten over him, when her heart stops aching for him so much, when she can be sure she can trust herself not to get lost in his lies, she’ll go to him and turn the game around on him, screw his brains out so hard that he won’t know what hit him – and then walk away.

The idea makes her smile, and the smile makes people shy away from her.


End file.
